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Hooligans Join Russian pooch? What they don't mention is that Laika died when her oxygen ran out. After that, she was left to drift, forgotten and alone in the emptiness of space. Now, we ask you to consider a case remarkably like that of the small Russian hound lured by tasty kibble into an inescapable trap - seduced and abandoned. That's the story of yore pals Joe & Hank, the Radio Hooligans. For more than a year we toiled for America Online - thanklessly, foolishly! For an occasional table scrap, like a tiny AOL site we were "allowed" to furnish with our best and brightest efforts. We'd always hoped for something more...a Keyword...perhaps a place on the Entertainment Page. But when we suggested these things they only laughed in our faces. We should have known then to come in out of the rain! But no...we slaved on. Then one day, an AOL Ogre appeared in our midst - but at first he didn't LOOK like one. He greeted us with rawhide morsels and waved them so close to our snouts we could almost taste them! The Ogre said: "PUT OUT!!!" "What?" we said. "You want us to WHAT?!" "YOU WILL SWEAR TO PUT OUT A BRAND NEW BIT EVERY WEEK OR YOU'RE OUTTA HERE!!!" spake the Evil One.*
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"But, you're kidding!" said we. "We're only MEMBERS! Not employees! And besides, we put out a new bit every week anyway! You can't threaten us!" "OH NO?!" And he laughed and laughed. And that's when he cut the cord. He killed the link that led thousands of members per week to our bits! And now, you, deal AOL member, you have somehow blundered your way onto our site - perhaps through some God-Forsaken link WebCenter - only to see yore ole pals the Hooligans laid low. We know how little Commie Canine felt when it suddenly hit him he was never coming home...he was doomed to be left hanging in the vacuum of space. But know ye this, oh AOL Ogre! We will not go gently into the emptiness of Cyberspace...the Radio Hooligans will never give up! *Sure, we like to embellish a little bit. But if you think we're kiddin', drop us a line at RHOOLIGANS and we'll gladly send you a copy of AOL's list of threats and demands!!! |
